The more time passes, the more I feel like I don't belong in this modern world. I don't know if anyone else can relate, but I find myself really wishing to go back to the world the way it was before. It's something much stronger than simple nostalgia. The world today is just simply not as enjoyable to me. I hate TikTok and how it has made everyone a clone. Everyone has to think the same, everyone has to look the same, everyone has to follow the same trends. Like is anyone just themselves anymore? Do people ask themselves who they are without the influence of social media? I hate how you can just talk to someone and tell how online they are by how they talk and act. Facebook is just as bad. You open it and can see how hateful and divided people in the world have become. The internet is worse. Video games are worse. Movies and shows are worse. Food is worse. People are worse. I cannot drive home the point enough that everything is awful now. It's like waking up in a horror movie every day. Sadly, the best one can do is try to distance themselves from it all, but that can be a lonely path. The world will continue in this direction whether I choose to participate or not. With AI and the world becoming increasingly hateful and divided, will anything ever get better? So here I am. Stuck in this point in time. Trying to recapture the magic of how things felt before everything sucked. Trying to block out the madness around me. Constantly missing the days when you could speak to any given person and they were uniquely themselves with their own thoughts, beliefs, way of talking, sense of fashion, ect. This isn't to rant, but this has deeply changed my life and how I see people. I've watched 20+ year friends go from completely unique to constantly changing themselves to fit whatever is popular on social media at the moment. I've become agoraphobic since 2021. The lack of people seeming "human" anymore triggers a deep anxiety within me when I go out into public now and I try to avoid it at all costs. Everyone just feels like a robot, if that makes sense. And I know it can't be EVERYONE, because I exist, but it sure feels that way when I go in public.

That being said, I try to enjoy my time on this planet with my boyfriend and our weenie dogs, Teddy and Frankie. I like to be out in nature when I can, to remind myself life can still be beautiful. Maybe I am making this site to also show myself that the internet, depending on how you use it, can still be beautiful as well. I like to write, read, do arts and crafts, bake, listen to music, take photos of random stuff. I also play games/watch Anime and Asian dramas; I just give myself less time to actually enjoy doing so these days. When I do use the internet, I try to limit myself to only Pinterest, Spotify, and YouTube. I try to fill my algorithms with positive, motivational, and inspirational content. As for Spotify, music is life (though I am getting around to cancelling the subscription at some point). I live my life in a constant state of self discovery. I shop for books by reading the descriptions and seeing what resonates with me at the time, instead of someone telling me what to read. I listen to different genres of music and artists I've never heard of to develop my own music tastes, instead of letting the radio tell me what I should listen to. I dress however feels good to me at the time, not what is "on trend". I do my makeup however I want to, not whatever the influencers are doing now. I try different hobbies that call to me at any given time, solely because they have interested me. I say this not to sound like some snob or act better than people who get influenced by social media. There is just something freeing about getting to know yourself on your own. Living your life to feel happy with who you are and knowing you are following your own heart. Stop giving a crap what other people think is cool and start getting to know yourself in your own bubble. I may be an outcast, because I choose not to put myself in any boxes, but I am me. Every thought is my own, everything I like is because I experimented to find what feels right with me. Being yourself, discovering yourself, thinking for yourself, are the most radical things you can do in this hivemind nightmare.